If the world would fade away...

I'm enjoying my life right now, although as much I pretend I don't care I would love more than a lot of things a boy to hold my hand and call me up. I wish for a boy that I can day dream about and have those day dreams fullfilled later. I wish for a boy to text me constantly and have my friends demand I stop. I want a boy to kiss and to hold me when I'm cold. I want a boy to think I'm beautiful and love things about me that I don't even like about myself.

Truth is though the lack of attention I've had in the last two years regarding boys has caused me to even wish for a late night drunk party make out session that means nothing.

Is this the ring of the very near Valentine's day causing this? Maybe. But more so I think it is a little bit Mister M's fault of not falling in love with me, and the New M's lack of ability to make me like him. And sometimes I think it may be partly because I sometimes have the little tinsiest itty bitty i can't believe i'm saying this thing for one JK.

We've been friends forever but sometimes when I get feeling like there will never be a guy in the world for me i think of him. And then I quickly remind myself that kissing him would probably be the awkwardest feeling of my life. So should I invest anything in what I just laid out to you? No probably not.

Let's go with not, my brain is too stressed with the formalities of school and real world to add the ever demanding emoitional stress on top of it.

Good night kiddies, Be good to those you love tomorrow, don't fret if you lack a sweetheart.